Just Like Dad

I'm not very much in favor of circumcision, but my husband wants our son to look like him. What do you suggest that I tell him?

"Your question is a familiar one, somewhat specific to women in North America because they have a medical option about the care of their baby. Expectant mothers have protective instincts and know that cutting off any part of their normal, healthy baby is neither normal nor healthy. Your job, now, is to educate your husband. This is no easy feat. In order for your husband to understand your protective instincts and to acknowledge circumcision as a primal wound that interferes with maternal/infant bonding, disturbs breastfeeding, and undermines the baby's first developmental task of establishing trust, he's going to have to come to terms with what happened to him when he was too little to resist or escape a painful surgery. It's not easy for any man to recognize the harm that was done to him -- 20- to 40,000 specialized erogenous nerve endings amputated from his organ of power, pleasure, and procreation! In other societies, the phallus is revered, as in the fertility rituals upheld in Japan. Here, however, we do something different -- tragically different -- to the phallus, and the male to whom it is attached. "

Marilyn Milos, RN

Mothering dot com ask the experts Marilyn Milos

Fathers are frequently unable to vocalize their feelings. They will say that "I want my son to look like me," even though the child may be different in eye color, hair color, and other aspects. In fact, what the father really may be feeling is, "I don't want a son with an intact penis to remind me of what I have lost."

If looking just like Dad is a major requirement then the father could restore his foreskin and his son would look like him. Foreskin restoration is currently being done by over 200000 men and growing. Although it can not replace any of the 20000 foreskin nerve endings - including the meissner's corpuscle and ridged band - it can give the appearance of a foreskin. Foreskin restoration also provides a protective covering over the glans (head) of the penis, creating more sensitivity and creates a gliding action during sex. For more on foreskin restoration, and its benefits, go to http://www.norm.org/